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Build and Burn

by Gutless

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1.
(Load-In) 00:16
2.
I've been pummeled, put down, punished, and pressurized In response to rude demands to not be marginalized "But at just what cost? Is it worth the price?" These are the questions that they're pushing to be on your mind Should you not be certain? They cannot break you since the world has never managed to The evidence is in front of you Despite years of assault and abuse The stubborn bitch still lives Demonstrated as a meat sack to practice punches Fixated on screens to avoid reflecting on it Now I'm awake and I got my own punches to throw Why are you still so uncertain? Those fuckers cannot break you Because the world has never managed to The evidence is in front of you Despite years of assault and abuse The stubborn bitch still lives Despite never feeling safe in my skin The quiet bitch still lives Despite always aching and falling down slopes The clumsy bitch will live Despite all the spite that I've held for you This stubborn bitch will live
3.
I'm burning the bridge To that dark and violent valley Where you pinned me down and stripped me of my worth I'm so done making excuses and apologizing on your behalf Because it happened And I'm fighting back I'm fighting back I'm drowning, I'm drowning, I'm drowning again I feel your hands pull down my legs as if we were chained It's been months since the bridge's been gone Why is it still so hard to just reroute and move on? I'm crying, in panic, in fetal again No matter how much help I get, the pain still remains Conflicted with the part of me That misses you as a best friend Shut up. Shut up. Shut up Don't wanna hear about who else you think there is to blame Stand up. Stand up. Stand up Instead of running away to our hometown Practice what you preached on stage B-U-I-L-D and BURN I'm drowning, I'm drowning, I'm drowning again I'm drowning, I'm drowning, I'm drowning again I'm drowning, I'm drowning, I'm drowning again I'm drowning.
4.
Hakai 02:23
Three cheers for self-destruction And getting dragged by the demons of your own volition, keeping you fucked up and without motion. It doesn't hurt that bad. Just gotta bear with the nausea. It doesn’t hurt that bad. I'm always gonna be asking If I am able to live with the guilt and shame of betraying everything I've built It doesn't hurt that bad. Just gotta bear with the nausea. It doesn’t hurt that bad. And I stared down the eyes of the devil I'm sure I saw her once looking in a mirror And I can't explain myself, when there's weed or booze on my shelf. I can only hope that I'm the only one I'm letting down. It doesn't hurt that bad. Just gotta bear with the nausea. It doesn’t hurt that bad. No it don’t hurt that bad. Just gotta bear with the nausea. It doesn’t hurt that bad. Hakai
5.
Tell me how it's going to end After I lose my very last friend. Should I continue even then? All the lessons I've been taught, All the troubles that I fought. Those will not matter when I leave To that God-awful place To pay the price for our patriarchs’ mistakes. They're just sacks of bones too anyway. Took too long to try and too long to fight. Too many executions of too many far too close to home. Butchered by centuries of lies Propagated in our heads, Reverberated when we turn mad. Hardwired to a newborn's Settings. And bugs can always be patched But crises in our code need to be addressed Long before a person's life is cut out. So don’t let nobody use as a tool to enforce suffering.
6.
I hope I don’t blow out my voice I hope I don’t blow out my voice Because I got four shows this weekend, so I don’t really have a choice I hope I don’t blow out my voice I’ve never done no concert halls I’m often just found screaming at my walls, My larynx works primarily for punks in basements too small, Yet my articulators pay toll And if I could resist the urge To scream “Fuck You” when the pains emerge My folds would suffer from my whispers in a cubicle Because my only source of joy Is singing songs full of oi oi oi’s And laughing with my friends till my throat starts hurting I lost my voice on the second date of tour It’s all inflamed and swollen, may I please just borrow yours? Just sing Rancid or Jawbreaker, and the crowd will dance for sure I lost my voice, may I borrow yours? I hope I don’t blow out my voice I hope I don’t blow out my voice Because my only source of joy is producing disarray and noise I hope I don’t blow out my voice Oh no, I think I just blew out my voice.
7.
The Flame 02:54
Spiraled down into a hazy state of gray I'm seeking out your voice in a divergent stream. Whether by you or a thousand miles away, My empty soul is longing to mend our torn-up seams. Can't help looking back at old memories Forever branded with the smile you once shared with me. A simple joy now tarnished. I try to drown the shame but getting high never lasts quite long enough. You're the sparks that flicker endlessly in my dreams, It's time to change the bulb but I can't reach the light. Wish you still would call me beautiful, oh please. But after all the changes, I don't blame you for your spite. Is time all that we need? Is there more I could have done To tend to the wounds made by our love coming undone? It feels so alone with you, but lonelier without you. And these nights out never last long enough. Although our flame is dying, There are still sparks a-flying. No matter how dim I will always be thinking of you. Homeward I will be flying Whenever you are calling. No matter distance I will always be thinking of you.
8.
(Doors) 01:24
9.
No, I don’t wanna get drinks. Already frantic and frenzied seeing your name on my phone ‘Cause I love what we created But you can’t mend my broken trust. Used every resource and space. Learned the language with access To leech off the energy of those You claimed you were fighting for I know there are a million moments you can rearrange. But you ain’t got that pull on me. I could sit still and say things don’t have to change. Or we could gather the shards of our broken souls and rebuild. Rebuild. Rebuild, or else what is living? Rebuild the home we formed, And find time to lavish in the bloom. So scrap those photos from the past Or else your wounded heart won’t last. Don’t let them take the joy From the gardens that you plant. Do whatever is required to make it stay. I know there are a million moments you can rearrange. But you ain’t got that pull on me. I could sit still and say things don’t have to change. I just hope that it’s not the choice you made.
10.
Não há nada aqui para ver Exceto as ruínas de uma cultura que eu não conheço mais. Não dar para trabalhar ou namorar Quando as pedras cortã o seu coração, me diga amor, o que tu faz? Chose running instead of hiding. Broken and hopeless, without a homeland I'll be dying. Where can we go? Where can we go? Where can we go? Onde podemos ir? Swimming day by day against the tide Can drain all of your energy and leave you with a weaker body and mind, But most of us don't have a choice In this world where for whatever reason, our mere existence is criminalized Open fire On the teachers and the prisoners Tentei voltar pra casa Em vez eu encontrei favelas e shopping malls chupando sua a água Where can we go? Where can we go? Where can we go? Onde podemos ir? Dessa vez o violão não vai me salvar.
11.
Don't strike me with your dagger eyes Don't place your hands so close to my thighs So what I got tattoos? Did not get them for you I'm not your toy, I'm not your project I see you staring Read your intentions Will not fall prey to your advances Meu corpo. Não seu Meu corpo. Não seu Meu corpo. Não seu Meu corpo. Não seu Meu corpo. Não seu
12.
Mystery Set 02:09
Jittering anxiously in anticipation until we congregate in this dead college town. In between luxury apartments and jocks in navy blue uniforms, we resonate our residence and drown... Into a pit of naive expectations in which the things we love don’t hurt at all. So this goes to all the boundaries we crossed, and the fingers we pointed while aiming to isolate what harms us. We get needy and we get jealous, And our sense of insecurity grows. We used to have so many best friends, In retrospect, seeing these burnt bridges remind me that... I’m so glad I feel this way about you. Because you provided the strength I needed to become myself. And I won’t forgo the worlds we built together, despite all the hurt our peers put us through. I wish we still talked as often as we used to.

about

“Build and Burn” is an album about a variety of ways in which a person can create something healing and personally-fulfilling, before watching it deteriorate, and then gradually finding the desire to pick up whatever remains to cultivate it again. The songs in it reflect on surviving substance abuse, sexual assault, and cultural alienation, as well as the severing of toxic personal ties, the guilt from lamenting the loss of said ties, and learning to balance self-care with a personal healing craft.

Anything that’s been burnt can be built again. And it can be rebuilt with greater foundation and clarity.

credits

released October 14, 2022

Vi Viana - vocals, guitar, organ, piano, synthesizers, glockenspiel; bass (on track 6)
Maxim Moritz - lead guitar
Andrew Martin - bass
Tim McGowan - drums
Veronica Prudence - additional lead and rhythm guitars; vocals (track 11)
Jeremy Hunter (JER / Skatune Network) - trombone, trumpet, and tenor saxophone (track 3)
George Geanuracos (Yankee Roses) - violin (tracks 5, 6, 7, 9 and 10); vocals (track 5)
Candice Maritato (Woolbright) - vocals (tracks 5 and 10)
Brianna Uknowit (Cooper!) - mandolin and vocals (track 6)
Rob McGregor - singing saw (track 1)

“Mystery Set” contains interpolations of “I’m So Glad I Feel This Way About You” by Insignificant Other

Mixed and mastered by Josie Lucido
Initial recording by Rob McGregor at Goldentone Studio
Additional recording and production by Vi Viana
Photography by Jeremy McGuire, Chris Denmark, and Brianna Uknowit
Background painting by Annette Gilley
Design and layout by Vi Viana

Many thanks to Dani, Bird, Maciej, Josie, and all of our Knifepunch comrades for helping us finish and release this record that we’ve poured so much of ourselves onto for the past 3-4 years of our lives. Many thanks to our dear friends who provided additional instrumentation and vocals, most of which was recorded remotely with their own gear. Many thanks to everyone who’s supported, encouraged, and shaped us through our multiple years of activity and inactivity. Thank you all for making all of this possible.

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Gutless Florida

Multilingual Latina Queer Indie Punk from FL/NY/PHL

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